My Mother

Agnes M. Vickers Oldham was born at home on a wheat farm near Beloit, Kansas September 23,1907. Her father was progressive and dedicated to improving life for his family, as well as their neighbors in Mitchell County. Having traded two horses for an Oldsmobile, the first car in the county, he bought the county's first combine and would harvest not only his but also every neighbor's he could while the wheat was at its peak. This spirit of sharing was engrained in Agnes, so as she grew, Agnes learned to play the piano and joined her fiddler father to provide music for area square dances


Agnes grew up with her brother Dean, who loved to tease her. One of his favorite tricks was to tie her pigtails together. He would make her bristle with anger, but eventually he made her laugh at herself and the situation. Their only serious and on going argument focused on whether Agnes was two years old than he or not. Both of them loved life on the farm.

Often Agnes would comment, "Why do so few people see the beauty of a wheat field. It is the most beautiful sight a Kansan can see."


Family and education were top priorities to Agnes. She remained close to her parents, ultimately caring for them in her own home. During the Depression, Agnes earned a Lifetime Teaching Certificate from Emporia State University. Knowing jobs were difficult to obtain and wanting to be close to home, with degree in hand, she marched into the office of a Beloit banker who was also President of the School Board, and convinced him to hire her to teach History and Math at the local junior high.

During her teaching tenure, John Russell Oldham called on her attempting to sell her an insurance policy. They dated and then clandestinely left Beloit, eloping to Missouri. Although they married 17 March, l936, they kept their nuptials secret because women were not permitted to teach once they had married. Only after the term ended did the Oldhams announce their marriage. The couple enjoyed 44 years of married life together before John's death in March, l980. Annually on their anniversary, John bought Agnes a rose for every year they were married, but finally he had to switch to mums once the price of roses became prohibitive.

The insurance work would take the growing family from Kansas. They were blessed with Martha Ann, their only child. While living in Wyoming, Agnes decided she wanted to learn to play Bridge; the only people she could locate who were willing to give her Bridge lessons were two ladies who worked nights in the local bordello. Having their days free allowed them the time to teach Agnes to play. To help motivate her to learn quickly, they played for a penny a point from the first hand. She would later enjoy the competition with the Bridge players at the Lawrence Senior Citizen Center.

They sent Martha to library School at Emporia State, her mother's alma mater. Martha's attending college was never in question. Agnes always told her "When you attend college," never "if", but "when."

The Oldhams settled in Lawrence early in the l960's. Agnes was eagerly involved in various activities. She was an avid Jayhawks fan and so devoted to the Royals she kept score for herself while listening to the games. Loving words, she read constantly and would use her vast vocabulary to solve crossword puzzles. She and Martha made weekly pilgrimages to the public library, bringing home armsful of books. Often she would volunteer and help Martha at the Lawrence High School library. She believed libraries and books were vital to the education of every person. She also commented every time they passed LHS how much it reminded her of a junior college.

Agnes was a staunch liberal Democrat, working for the social acceptance of minorities whether of race, gender or life choices. She admired Eleanor Roosevelt as a great humanitarian and said FDR had saved America's farms. She read newspapers and magazines and watched television news programs to be up to date on events in the world. Her favorite was David Brinkley's Round Table.

She was never fully satisfied with her name, often asking, "What beautiful woman in the world was ever named Agnes?" Little did she know the answer was only a glance in the mirror away. She was too humble to see the goodness, too dedicated to others to worry about self, too kind, too generous to see the beauty others saw in her. Always a lady and always with a thank you on her lips, she is missed.